What a week....Monday....MRI and CAT, Tuesday talked with Dr. Warr who handed me off to Dr. Martin who will be my new oncologist. Spit up a large, cherry size blood clot on Weds. Dr. Martin put me on a cough syrup with narc. to suppress coughing and dislodging another clot and also just for "in case" an antibiotic. He agreed we would start chemo next week after the bleeding settled down. He also explained that if there was a large clot dislodged I could bleed out. You know, John Wayne and other cowboys who tried to hide the fact they were coughing up blood.
Now the thing was the MRI of the brain did not show any growth or cancer and yet I began developing strange symptoms. What used to be woodpeckers in my head were now garbage can wars of clanging and banging that lasted about 2-3 minutes. On Friday I had five episodes of tingling and lost ability to make words for 2-3 minutes. Called Dr. Martin who changed my steroids from 2 to 8 twice a day and said call if things don't get better. So about 9:30 last night Sydney and I went to the ER. I came home about 2:30 AM. Dr. in ER looked up the pro-time lab work that was done on Thursday and discovered I was out of the range of therapy. He thought maybe the brain tumor which is rotting (necrotizing) from the inside may have developed a bleed and maybe the lung blood was because of the too high bleeding time. So I'm off the coumadin (rat poison) for the weekend and then start a different dose this next week. I have bruises all over my arms too, so I think that is what happened. I got some much wanted Oxygen in the hospital and today has been much, much better. I can't have oxygen at home until I desaturated to 87 because medicare won't pay. I have been at 89 so far. When I loose the ability to make words, I wonder if I can use sign language? I'm going to check it out next time. I spoke with the ER doctor about my fear that I will lose my speech permanently and/or have a seizure. He told me those things will happen.....So that is the medical story.
Have any of you heard about Steven Hawkings ? He is a brilliant physicist who developed the big bang and black hole theories (at least I believe he developed them.
Well, he says our brain is a computer and when the plug is pulled out the computer is dead. So if the computer is my brain, I am connected to the WWW, for now by codes and addresses, but like the universal consciousness, I am one with all. I kinda like that theory, but he doesn't call the power "God". I think I do. The other thing about that is that if the computer if found later and a "techie" brings up the old programs, that would be like reincarnation? Maybe.
The other thing, and I don't want you to think I have been sleeping in a fox hole this week, I have been thinking about GOD. What makes me think that my one opinion of a creator is the right one. How about all the educated, learned men and women over the centuries who have stuck to the God, Jesus, Holy Ghost theory. Am I wiser than them? And what if each of get the here after that we have created in our time here on earth? How will you design your heaven? Do you want one?
Lots of things think about.
I would request emails rather than phone calls because I am so short of breath right now. Thanks.
About Me
- The Calico Pen
- My book "The Bastard Tree" is still available on Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble.com. I hve had a lot of positive remarks about my story and although I am not making money with it, I am glad I did it. It is one of those things that people always say, "you should write a book," so I did. I like to write and I hope you will enjoy reading what I post.
