On Thursday I had another Chemo treatment that was easy. But then all hell broke loose. Wed. I went to Mongolian Grill with friends and I watched them eat plates full of fried worms. I had egg roll soup and tea.sure was good. On Christmas eve we went to friends house to play games (didn't) and she had pasties from Butte and I had tea..sure was good, By morning, Christmas morning, I could not get my head off the pillow. Then the fun began. Sydney called the doctor, Kathy called the ambulance and five vechiles arrived with sirens and flashing lights. Sienna, thought Santa arrived! No one would let her open her gifts. When they finally got me inn the ambul;ance I told them to let the child open her gifts and I rode away with lights and siren to the manger scene.
The story,medically speaking, I was in AFIB, which is an irregular heart beat pattern. So they took me to the cardiac unit, and they kept coming in to ask me what I wanted to do if my heart stopped. I kept telling them to start it again. I guess I look older than I thought. Anyway so much for my fairy tales about nothing to Chemo. I had anemia, low white blood count, diarrhea, etc. I had two blood transfusions, new heart meds, an echo cardiogram. So today, Monday the 27th. I was able to take a shower by myself, spend most of the day in a chair and here I am blogging. Expect to go home tomorrow, but I'm going to be less expecting of tomorrows. Sienna will be back this weekend and I hope we can play with her toys.
I hope your Christmas morning had less surprises! My grandchildren from Libby are here this week too, so it will be fun to be home. Tomorrow is granddaughter from Libby's Birthday and Thursday is husband's is Thurs. and I ain't going to no Nursling bome. A new year is coming. Can't be as bad as 2010. Hope yours will be the best yet. I hoping for less shit.
'
Monday, December 27, 2010
on the fourth day of chemo
The following stories are supposed to be funny, so if you start feeling pity, hit tghe delete.
On the fourth day after my last chemo my claim that chemo was a piece of cake started to fall apart. It was literally the shittiest day of my treatment. I dreamt I was spreading these walmart plastic bags of gas all over the house. Smelled like a cow barn or maybe a pig sty.
Then I woke up and realized my bed was damp. When I tried to get out of hed I slipped the floor. Realized I was on the bed for the night unless I could wake Sydney up. So I crawled to the bathroom with the hope of maybe liftingt my self to the toilet. Nope, so I shit on the floor and peed on the rug, discarded my nightgown and crawled naked back to bed. Couldn't get up so began to yell for Sydney and he finally heard me. Came into the room, picked me up and tossed me into bed naked and left me to go back to bed. Felt good to me. We slept till morning. Sydney washed all the bedding, towels, and rugs and now he's talking about a nursing home!
On the fourth day after my last chemo my claim that chemo was a piece of cake started to fall apart. It was literally the shittiest day of my treatment. I dreamt I was spreading these walmart plastic bags of gas all over the house. Smelled like a cow barn or maybe a pig sty.
Then I woke up and realized my bed was damp. When I tried to get out of hed I slipped the floor. Realized I was on the bed for the night unless I could wake Sydney up. So I crawled to the bathroom with the hope of maybe liftingt my self to the toilet. Nope, so I shit on the floor and peed on the rug, discarded my nightgown and crawled naked back to bed. Couldn't get up so began to yell for Sydney and he finally heard me. Came into the room, picked me up and tossed me into bed naked and left me to go back to bed. Felt good to me. We slept till morning. Sydney washed all the bedding, towels, and rugs and now he's talking about a nursing home!
Friday, December 17, 2010
third Chemo
Showed up at the chemo station with cherry red Christmas fingernails and toenails!
Also had bruises all over. Seems the problem was that my blood level was too low and blood pressure was too high. hope to get those problems fixed this week and then maybe set the rooster shots in my knee. They worked real good a few years ago.
I tipped over by my bed last night and Sydney was able to jack me up.
Chemo was Taxol and Paxal this time and then we will add Avasta (which is supposed to stop the spread; I get two more Thurs. then a day off and start over. I don't know how long that will last, but so far no side effects. No nausea etc.
I'm done with shopping and wrappkng so will probably just enjoy the season. It is cold and crisp today and looks like Christmas. We have received lots and lots of Christmas mail and packages. I hope people don't think this is my last Christmas because I enjoying the attention so much I might stay around for another one! Love all you and each morning when I wake up to another gift.....a day from God,.you are the ribbons on that gift., HaPPY hOLIDAYS
Also had bruises all over. Seems the problem was that my blood level was too low and blood pressure was too high. hope to get those problems fixed this week and then maybe set the rooster shots in my knee. They worked real good a few years ago.
I tipped over by my bed last night and Sydney was able to jack me up.
Chemo was Taxol and Paxal this time and then we will add Avasta (which is supposed to stop the spread; I get two more Thurs. then a day off and start over. I don't know how long that will last, but so far no side effects. No nausea etc.
I'm done with shopping and wrappkng so will probably just enjoy the season. It is cold and crisp today and looks like Christmas. We have received lots and lots of Christmas mail and packages. I hope people don't think this is my last Christmas because I enjoying the attention so much I might stay around for another one! Love all you and each morning when I wake up to another gift.....a day from God,.you are the ribbons on that gift., HaPPY hOLIDAYS
Monday, December 13, 2010
34 years of wedded bliss? No, but partnership, yes.
On Saturday, our 34th anniversary, we went to the City Bar and had their seasonal tom and jerry drink and a nice sandwich for lunch. Treated our friends. Not exchanging gifts this year.
Then in the evening, Pascha, Syd and I went to Jakers. I had fish and chips, Dad had drunken noodles and Pascha had some kind of noodles too. We were pleased the the service or the food, so no more Jakers for us.
Sydney bought me a great gift. On Weds. I will have a pedicure and a manicure and I am going to choose Christmas colors! What a luxury!
Syd collects the bearfoot bears and I found a set of bears working out at rehab! He has about 9 cardiac rehabs sessions left. He has done well.
I have such a time with my knee. If I am too far down, I'm stuck....so I've learned to use the handicap toilet in Walmart etc. Anyway, last week I went to rehab for me and they gave me some exercises to strengthen my knee. I don't like them and I'm not going to do them. I am going to see about a knee brace and maybe use a cane.
The latest plan is to bring a book to the basement and stay down here until all the laundry is done. One trip a day up the basement stairs is about all I can handle. I think I'll ask the doctor about iron shots? Sure hate feeling so weak.
I need to go into town in the next two days and finish up all my shopping for Christmas, just in case I don't feel up to it next week. Sienna comes this weekend and I think she'll go to see Santa, sled riding, shopping and maybe a movie. We will have her Christmas morning. Hope you and yours are almost ready. Carol
Then in the evening, Pascha, Syd and I went to Jakers. I had fish and chips, Dad had drunken noodles and Pascha had some kind of noodles too. We were pleased the the service or the food, so no more Jakers for us.
Sydney bought me a great gift. On Weds. I will have a pedicure and a manicure and I am going to choose Christmas colors! What a luxury!
Syd collects the bearfoot bears and I found a set of bears working out at rehab! He has about 9 cardiac rehabs sessions left. He has done well.
I have such a time with my knee. If I am too far down, I'm stuck....so I've learned to use the handicap toilet in Walmart etc. Anyway, last week I went to rehab for me and they gave me some exercises to strengthen my knee. I don't like them and I'm not going to do them. I am going to see about a knee brace and maybe use a cane.
The latest plan is to bring a book to the basement and stay down here until all the laundry is done. One trip a day up the basement stairs is about all I can handle. I think I'll ask the doctor about iron shots? Sure hate feeling so weak.
I need to go into town in the next two days and finish up all my shopping for Christmas, just in case I don't feel up to it next week. Sienna comes this weekend and I think she'll go to see Santa, sled riding, shopping and maybe a movie. We will have her Christmas morning. Hope you and yours are almost ready. Carol
Friday, December 10, 2010
you will die
Last year when I first learned about my cancer, I felt powerful and it seemed like a romantic thing to be entering into..what a bunch of s--t that was to be thinking.
Find this winter that I don't want to die. Ever!
So, I used to run 5 miles. I lost weight. I ate the right foods. What did you do to stop the death that you did not believe in?
Of course, we go through our life ignoring that we will, must and have to die. Think about it. Can you think about it? I think most of us do not believe it will really happen.
Will chemo kill the cancer cells where death lives? I don't really think so, but let's try. I do not plan on going gently into that good night even though I must.
Find this winter that I don't want to die. Ever!
So, I used to run 5 miles. I lost weight. I ate the right foods. What did you do to stop the death that you did not believe in?
Of course, we go through our life ignoring that we will, must and have to die. Think about it. Can you think about it? I think most of us do not believe it will really happen.
Will chemo kill the cancer cells where death lives? I don't really think so, but let's try. I do not plan on going gently into that good night even though I must.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Treatment number two
Yesterday I had my second chemo treatment....nothing different that I can tell. So far no side effects. Just a couple of syringes full of ativan and benedril and then off to a nice warm nap for an hour or two and then home. I'm sure it will get worse as it goes, but I don't go back now for two weeks. Husband and I might take a train trip to Libby with Xmas packages etc. on our 34Th anniversary next weekend. Pascha's gift to us!
We had 8 inches of snow last night and it is a winter wonderland outside. I have to say I kind like it. It is so clean.
I'm feeling better emotionally these days. Yesterday when I was in the doctors office they were playing the most beautiful recorded piano music. All Christmas themed. So nice.
I am going to be evaluated for a walker. Maybe I won't need one, but I keep tipping over and then I can't get back up because of my weak knee. Fortunately my bones are strong and every time I've gone down I haven't broken a bone, but like my docs says, that would be a disaster for me at this time....so maybe a walker will be a good thing.
Sienna comes tonight and I am "thinking" of making some fudge for gifts. Later!
We had 8 inches of snow last night and it is a winter wonderland outside. I have to say I kind like it. It is so clean.
I'm feeling better emotionally these days. Yesterday when I was in the doctors office they were playing the most beautiful recorded piano music. All Christmas themed. So nice.
I am going to be evaluated for a walker. Maybe I won't need one, but I keep tipping over and then I can't get back up because of my weak knee. Fortunately my bones are strong and every time I've gone down I haven't broken a bone, but like my docs says, that would be a disaster for me at this time....so maybe a walker will be a good thing.
Sienna comes tonight and I am "thinking" of making some fudge for gifts. Later!
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