On the Road

Traveled to Bozeman Montana yesterday where my wild granddaughter received an award for the volunteer work that she does in a nursing home in Libby, Montana. This is a child who has worn down her family, friends, and the school system with inappropriate behaviors. She has reached out to the folks in a nursing home with the true spirit of someone who cares. No phoniness about this kid. I love her. She is my decendent.

I noticed the pine needles on the hills in my beloved Montana are going to rape the trees. Soon the hills will be bald, and apparently I will too. Those pine needles are not unlike a cancer that cannot be killed. They will kill their host and then die.

I'm good, at work today even, but I sure am getting round faced from the steroids. I think I look like an little old appalachian grandma, but my boss says I look like a sturdy Russian.

I appreciate the words of encouragement and affirmative cards and positive thinking I get from folks, but my philosophy is more like I am the rider in the vehicle and God is driving. He knows the route and I trust that he will take me where I am supposed to go. I don't want to be responsible for the success or failure of this trip. Now, thats not to say I will not go through the treatments and fight to stay well and take care of myself etc., etc. But I am not going to try to outwit God with my own agenda.

You know where I lay under that radiation machine I have a notion to wave my arms and bring in the rays like the Indians do with their Sweet Grass treatments. Just waft that stuff right over here!

I forgot to thank God for the morning yesterday. I think I have lived with the intensity of this situation for about three weeks now and it is fading. At first my mind constantly went to the words, the feelings, the fears etc. Now I forget sometimes that I am ill. So that is probably where I am now. Back to life. Biopsy tomorrow may bring it all back with a bang.