Boy just when you think you might have things figured out, you find you don't. All this thinking about if you know you have a terminal illness versus getting hit by a train.
Well the train didn't get me, and neither did the blood clot.
This weekend I had a pain in the calf of my leg and I suspected, being a nurse you know, that I might have a blood clot but, hey, whats the chances. Well this AM I noticed maybe the left leg seemed a little bigger...so I mentioned it to the radiologist who ordered an ultra sound.
Yup, big Deep Vein Thrombosis, DVT, the kind that killed my step son Daniel... The thing with those clots is that they move to the lung and then into heart.
So today I had the first of what will be daily injections of blood thinner in my BELLY! For the rest of my life they tell me. I will do my own injections so I will be able to travel.
So.....I went to bed worrying about dying from brain tumor,etc., etc., and I could have never had to go through cancer....I could have died in bed. But I didn't so I guess its a lot like the train.....why the hell worry about how it is going to happen, just know that it will someday, someway, and get on with the daily stuff.
Incidentally, the DVT had absolutely nothing to do with the Cancer.
I have 6 more brain treatments and 16 more lung treatments....then a full body scan and if no spread anywhere, I will not do chemo at this time.
SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! I'm am very tired. My boss at the school asked me to work 10 hours this week. I said I would, but I may not....I've had some pissed off, anger type stuff boiling beneath the surface, but then I meet people and I think, "hell, everybody is just trying to survive"
I watched the LIFE show that Oprah is narrating, about insects, bugs, animals, mammals etc. How can anyone doubt a creator? What I doubt is that he needs my constant adoration or that he has much use for me after I leave here. But I could be wrong.....Church called tonight to see if I would join a group of writers, putting out things for the church. I turned them down.....Maybe computers in Heaven?
About Me
- The Calico Pen
- My book "The Bastard Tree" is still available on Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble.com. I hve had a lot of positive remarks about my story and although I am not making money with it, I am glad I did it. It is one of those things that people always say, "you should write a book," so I did. I like to write and I hope you will enjoy reading what I post.
