Gobs of hair is coming out when I comb, so tonight, if I leave the hospital as expected I will go to JC Penny and let me longtime hairdresser shave my head. I even have a five dollar coupon to give her. I don't think I will mind being hairless, I have always had a love hate relationship with hair anyway. I have purchased another hat, maybe my Easter bonnet, unless I find something cuter. Probably will get a collection!
It's funny how everything is relative. When I was 19 years old I had a little baby girl and something went wrong with my hormones and most of my hair came out. Now that was something to cry about. But so was the baby, she died just short of her 6th month birthday. When I think about crossing to the "other side" I think of the people who COULD meet me. I'm not saying I think they will, but I'm saying who the hell knows. Anyway I think she will still be pink and soft and baby and smell good and nuzzles in my arms. Francis, who died 21 years ago this week will be hale and hearty and strong and handsome and run to greet me with a hug. He'll have some kind of security position over there and he will still be a know-it-all, because that is the way I loved him. Daniel, will have forgiven me all the wicked stepmother sins and he will hug me. My mom? I would like to know my mom on a women to women level. I think she must have been as strong as I am. She was a survivor of poor marriages and poor parenting, but continued on. She died of cancer at the age of 48. I thought she was old enough to die, then. Daddy? He'll be there with a fishing creel on his hip and a cigarette hanging out of his lips and grinning like the jackass he was. I used to steal his Lucky Strikes....we both got the lung cancer, but I've lived 10 years longer then him...Lots of men,loved then,remembered now. What I find a blessing is that I cannot think of one person who has gone on before me that I have not forgiven. God knows none of us want to be less than we can be, but we are all less than we could have been. I like the saying, "be kind to everyone you meet today, they are struggling"
So be real, be kind, be nice, Angels may be among us. Love Carol
About Me
- The Calico Pen
- My book "The Bastard Tree" is still available on Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble.com. I hve had a lot of positive remarks about my story and although I am not making money with it, I am glad I did it. It is one of those things that people always say, "you should write a book," so I did. I like to write and I hope you will enjoy reading what I post.
