emotions

Well,the unexpected happened to me when I went to bed last night. I cried. I seldom do. When I saw my oncologist on Monday he said the lung tumor had shrunk but the brain tumors hadn't yet. I said so will they? He explained that the dead cells from the tumors are sloughed off as the macrophages eat at them like pac-man.
Anyway he didn't want to see me till August except to monitor my blood level for the coumadiin I am taking. No other treatment at this time, except I'm tapering off the steroids. I am still pretty tired.
But the interesting thing is that I feel like I have been dropped off the hay wagon. When I was going to the clinic daily for treatment it felt like I was fighting the cancer. Now it feels like no one is watching things. And I'm not sure how to proceed with normalcy (except for the hair which I don't think is growing back at all and I might just start going bald everywhere because I hate all the head covers I have tried) and the daily activities of living.
I did decide to have my teeth cleaned, my eyes checked, my knee cortizoned and I told them I would be back to work in the fall at the school.
Now then, Sydney has already asked me to make a meat loaf and I don't hear any plans for a big vacation trip.
My bucket list my be watching the radishes I planted grow and doing the state fair with friends and granddaughter....This weekend we have a new kite to try out.
So life goes on at the Holoboffs. Lung cancer is pretty hard to beat.....but I am hoping to see Pascha graduate in two years. Thank all of you for prayers, wishes, suggestions,concern, love and caring thoughts.